I almost regret giving up my Tumblr because that meant giving up my main source of emotional comfort (besides confiding in a person, anyway). But then I realized I had Blogger.. and I actually feel more at home here.
Hello world, I hope you're listening. Forgive me if I'm young, or speaking out of turn.
Hi; I'm feeling a little lost. A little left out in the cold, a little insecure, a little bit scared. I want reassurance and I want someone to help me stay strong and I want to feel stability, if only for a little bit. I feel like I'm putting too much hope and trust into one thing, and I'm so scared that when that falls apart, my world will just become.. so dark. Maybe this is just a phase - after all, I'm pretty prone to these plaguing insecurities - they fade away but they never truly disappear. And I hate them. I hate them so much for making me miserable most of the time and for making me miss opportunities and for making me regret so much of what I do or don't do.
And I hate watching everything fall apart and not being able to do anything to stop it. I can't bring myself to confront anyone, so I just let them step all over me without a single complaint. Why I do that, I have no idea. But it's fucking frustrating and yet at the same time.. I don't know how to stop it. You call me your 'best friend', but what kind of best friend only encourages me in private, but turns against me in public? If you're ashamed of me or if you only want to use me for your gain, just tell me so. Quit bullshitting around the table; I'm sick of fake people.
I'm sick of school and of the people in it; I'm sick of my ridiculous family and how they pretty much just define dysfunction; I'm sick of my materialistic needs and my shallow personality; I'm sick of finding flaws everywhere and never being able to be genuinely happy anymore.
As much as I love life, it gets so damn tiring sometimes.
I almost regret giving up my Tumblr because that meant giving up my main source of emotional comfort (besides confiding in a person, anyway). But then I realized I had Blogger.. and I actually feel more at home here.
Hello world, I hope you're listening. Forgive me if I'm young, or speaking out of turn.
Hi; I'm feeling a little lost. A little left out in the cold, a little insecure, a little bit scared. I want reassurance and I want someone to help me stay strong and I want to feel stability, if only for a little bit. I feel like I'm putting too much hope and trust into one thing, and I'm so scared that when that falls apart, my world will just become.. so dark. Maybe this is just a phase - after all, I'm pretty prone to these plaguing insecurities - they fade away but they never truly disappear. And I hate them. I hate them so much for making me miserable most of the time and for making me miss opportunities and for making me regret so much of what I do or don't do.
And I hate watching everything fall apart and not being able to do anything to stop it. I can't bring myself to confront anyone, so I just let them step all over me without a single complaint. Why I do that, I have no idea. But it's fucking frustrating and yet at the same time.. I don't know how to stop it. You call me your 'best friend', but what kind of best friend only encourages me in private, but turns against me in public? If you're ashamed of me or if you only want to use me for your gain, just tell me so. Quit bullshitting around the table; I'm sick of fake people.
I'm sick of school and of the people in it; I'm sick of my ridiculous family and how they pretty much just define dysfunction; I'm sick of my materialistic needs and my shallow personality; I'm sick of finding flaws everywhere and never being able to be genuinely happy anymore.
As much as I love life, it gets so damn tiring sometimes.
Impress me. Sing along to Bon Jovi and Muse with me. Watch Lion King until your eyes hurt. Laugh at all my jokes. Buy me striped clothing on my birthday! Learn to love my Mickey. (: Memorize my phone number, and memorize it RIGHT. Buy me CD albums for my birthday/Christmas/anything! Never tell me you want to watch me swim. Get me Vitamin Water when I'm stressed. (: Tell me your life story. I'll tell you mine.
