What the hell is going on? I understand you have your mood swings and sometimes we end up on the wrong side of that, but this has been going on for over a WEEK. You have no idea how discouraging you can be when you're tearing us down - you may not remember it a few days or maybe even a few hours after you do it, but trust me when I say we carry it with us for a pretty long time. I know a good amount of girls (myself included) that have been ready to just break down after one of your tirades. Is this supposed to motivate us? I hope you know that it does the exact opposite.
And I don't know if you realize that when you're in a I-hate-the-world mindset, we're scared shitless and too afraid to say anything or do ANYTHING for fear of getting you even more upset, and it makes our meets and our practices just that much depressing. People have stopped showing up to practice instead of telling you about leaving early or being busy because honestly, we'd rather take a cut and have our parents write a note or ask coach Mark to sign it than have you yelling at us about responsibility and giving us a cut anyways.
But don't get me wrong, we love your personality when you're in a good mood. But those moments are rare and far in between, and heavily overshadowed by your tantrums and your constant degrading. There's a fine line between being strict and just being mean, and trust me when I say you've crossed that a while ago. I just hope to dear God you realize your place and take a few steps back before your words and your actions drive someone off the team.
That's what really defines me right now - this nagging negativity that just won't leave me. I need to learn how to pick up all my pieces right now, but I just feel like I don't have the courage to go back and face my mistakes.
I'm too caught up in what could have been that I can't bring myself to move forward and move ON. I'm just so...mad at myself for letting one incident define myself. For letting just one person throw my attitude towards life on a 180 spin.
I'm losing my confidence in myself. And I think this is driving people away - people that I actually need right now. I'm so lost and I just feel so...empty. I need a change, I think. I need a new outlook on life and most of all I just need to learn to leave this god-awful negativity that keeps sneaking into my every thought.
What the hell is going on? I understand you have your mood swings and sometimes we end up on the wrong side of that, but this has been going on for over a WEEK. You have no idea how discouraging you can be when you're tearing us down - you may not remember it a few days or maybe even a few hours after you do it, but trust me when I say we carry it with us for a pretty long time. I know a good amount of girls (myself included) that have been ready to just break down after one of your tirades. Is this supposed to motivate us? I hope you know that it does the exact opposite.
And I don't know if you realize that when you're in a I-hate-the-world mindset, we're scared shitless and too afraid to say anything or do ANYTHING for fear of getting you even more upset, and it makes our meets and our practices just that much depressing. People have stopped showing up to practice instead of telling you about leaving early or being busy because honestly, we'd rather take a cut and have our parents write a note or ask coach Mark to sign it than have you yelling at us about responsibility and giving us a cut anyways.
But don't get me wrong, we love your personality when you're in a good mood. But those moments are rare and far in between, and heavily overshadowed by your tantrums and your constant degrading. There's a fine line between being strict and just being mean, and trust me when I say you've crossed that a while ago. I just hope to dear God you realize your place and take a few steps back before your words and your actions drive someone off the team.
That's what really defines me right now - this nagging negativity that just won't leave me. I need to learn how to pick up all my pieces right now, but I just feel like I don't have the courage to go back and face my mistakes.
I'm too caught up in what could have been that I can't bring myself to move forward and move ON. I'm just so...mad at myself for letting one incident define myself. For letting just one person throw my attitude towards life on a 180 spin.
I'm losing my confidence in myself. And I think this is driving people away - people that I actually need right now. I'm so lost and I just feel so...empty. I need a change, I think. I need a new outlook on life and most of all I just need to learn to leave this god-awful negativity that keeps sneaking into my every thought.
Impress me. Sing along to Bon Jovi and Muse with me. Watch Lion King until your eyes hurt. Laugh at all my jokes. Buy me striped clothing on my birthday! Learn to love my Mickey. (: Memorize my phone number, and memorize it RIGHT. Buy me CD albums for my birthday/Christmas/anything! Never tell me you want to watch me swim. Get me Vitamin Water when I'm stressed. (: Tell me your life story. I'll tell you mine.
