which color?





dailies
isabel
josh
ralph
angel
catherine
marissa
tiffany-liu
michele
tiffany-yeh
michelle
shivanti
andy
emily
sayoni
joe
renz
jeremy
daniel-lee
andrew-hou
priya
shelley
ronnie
daniel-shim
andrew-fang
claudine
julian
jocelyn
kathy
paley
hannah
charles
katheryn
avi
priyanka
tim
jeanyoung
ben
sarah/mary
john
emma
archie
abi
kaajal
eric

I'm thankful -

That I'm alive. And I get to live my life to the fullest.

That my family isn't crazy yet. Almost, but not there.

For my Mickey.

That music exists, and will exist through every generation.

For outlet shopping and Las Vegas.

That I go to Whitney.

That I live in America, a land as free as free can get.

That Jacob Black can show everyone Edward isn't all he's cut out to be.

For Yogurtland.

For a family that's better off than most families in the world.

For my health.

That tragedy exists. Without it, there'd be no happiness.


But most of all, I really am thankful for my friends. (: I admit I'm pretty short-tempered and moody and overreactive and generally not a very easy person to get along with, but there's still those people who've lived through all that and made friends with the real Alice. <3 Thanks,

-Catherine. From second grade - "You looked down my shirt!"; "the bee girls"; to third - "My car was the specialest car in the whole store cause it was SILVER"; to fourth - "CHEATER. YOU have the cooties!"; Christopher Han!; to fifth - "I SWEAR I do not like ____________"; to sixth - LOLOPENHOUSE; Alice in Wonderland. Then Whitnaaay = boy drama = IHATEYOU STOP STEALING MY GUY = omgosh let's never ever fight again! = <3! Ahha let's stay tiiight. (: Like that note I gave you in second grade. I love you, btch.

-Josh Chung! Ms. Wood. Alice in Wonderland. Sixth grade camp. Chinese visitors video. Ms. Love. DETENTION. Tina & Jacob (we're gonna be related!). Spinball & the 'dooshwoman'. 131. Postcards from Europe. I hope you get all these. Happy fifteenth. (:

-Izzy and Ralph. For being my nonbiological family when I needed it the most. For withstanding my various outbursts and being patient with me. For being supportive and encouraging and showing me how to be mature and showing me that I can do what I want to do. I really couldn't ask for a better family than you guys. Ahha don't worry, Izzy, we won't divorce. (: Thanks, guys. <3

-ChrisPlatt. You pessimistic, degrading, six-pack armed, Twilight-lover, sweater loser >:O white boy. I miss youu. ): We don't even talk online anymore. You don't even send me offline messages when I'm online. -__- YOU DON'T SAY G'NIGHT ANYMORE. D: I miss you and your pessimism. ): Let's talk again. (:


ILYguys. <3

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3 lovenotes.
My baby's growing up! D:

IsabelKatrinaChua! You're almost a whole year older than your mommy! D: But it's okaay. We can tell them that I went through time travel and...yeah. (:

So I hoped you liked my card! I'm pretty good at stick figures. :D And I really suck at writing letters, so I'm sorry if that was difficult to understand. But just know that I love you a lot a lot a looot. And I know that a lot of other people do too. (: So for today, just enjoy yourself and don't worry too much about everything else. <3

Happy 15th.

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2 lovenotes.
Iraq > Singapore.

'Ohmygosh it's Fridaaay!'

Ehh. Friday -> weekend -> Tustin conference -> swim meet -> no time for homework -> late night up. ): I don't like this weekeeend. D:

Tustin conference was today, so that's over with. That's so much stress I got rid of. (: And I'm happy with the result. I did better than Costa Rica! :D And TiffanyChen fell in love with Singapore next to me. And I thought Iraq was cute. (: Even Isaac agreed! :D I didn't like our Spain and I DEFINITELY didn't like Costa-freaking-Rica. I liked Kenya, and the US was pretty tight. (: But our committee failed, with no resolution passed. -__- HAHA Cuba and Chilaaay's resolution was complete BS. But I think it was the closest one to passing, since it was last. Whaaatever. My mom's pretty happy. (:

But for me, good things don't come in two. So that means I'll do bad at meet. But it's okay! That's how I planned it to be. (: Conference would be good, meet would be okayish/bad/whatever. I do want to do good, though. But so many things could go wrong and I just start stressing when I think about them. D: My goggles could so totally fall off like they always do, my cap could fall off D: (it's never happened to me, but happened for so many other people; more the reason to worrrry), I could completely screw up on my dive and flop, I could forget to touch the wall with two hands, I could do so many wrong thingsss. But I guess getting anxious about it won't do me much good, so I'll just tell myself I'm going to completely fail. (: Then when I don't, it'll feel like a success. :D

I have a beautiful plaquard! :D I should start collecting those.

I should post up a Christmas wishlist. I'll do it next post. (: You guys post up yours, too! I need to go shopping pretty soooon.

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0 lovenotes.
Forgiving and forgetting.

So I realize that this isn't working for me. If I keep thinking back and thinking forwards, it's going to stay with me forever. So today. I realized that maybe I should just forget everything.

And I know how hard that will be. Erasing every single memory of this. Of course it's going to hurt and it's going to take much more effort than the usual. But in the end, it should be good for me. (: Because I know I wasn't going to be able to let it go without telling myself to.


Now. Let's see how long I'll last.

3 lovenotes.
Sorry about the hole. (:

Saluting our veterans:
- JAAAASON!
- Posing picture. -____-
- "Aww you were so cute. What happened."
- "So there was this happy couple - BANANAKINGBANANAKING!"
- Bathtub + self-timer.
- "You can't camera whore right."
- The hole in the wall LOLOLOLOL.
- Mirror self-timing. (:
- Phineas and Ferb!
- "Is this Alice's -" "NO IT'S ME STOP HOLDING MY HAND."
- "I sleep on the floor."
- "Don't forget to wash your blanket!"
- "Your brother loves you. Love him back. ):"
- Awkward guys-in-the-bathroom moment. -__-
- "Ralph, why aren't you saying anything?"
- "He could get stranded. And his tire could pop. And his shoes could rip. So..yeah. Stranded."
- "We'll leave them two alone at that.."
- Scary babies. D:
- Sixth grade's play&detention&teachers.
- "Your hair smells nice." "Garnier Fructis?"
- I
- LOVE
- YOU
- GUYS.
- <3

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1 lovenotes.
When you were young.

When I was young,

I thought that unicorns were real and tigers were fictional. It broke my heart when my mom told me otherwise in kindergarten. Unicorns would be so much prettier than those tigers.

I thought I would marry my daddy would grow up. I mean, if my mom did, then I would too, right? This thought...makes me quite nauseous.

The gingerbread man hunt was a deadly thing. I mean, we actually ate the poor guy in the end. It kinda cannibalistic to me.

Left-handed people were racist. They didn't let me use their scissors. >:O

I didn't get why most songs were about love. Couldn't they be about other things like...dogs? Or candy? Why was love so important, anyways?

We always sat at those kiddy tables at the mall. So much more fun than those boring, gray adult tables.

It bothered me that my mommy and daddy didn't kiss. All the other girl-guy couples out there did; why couldn't they?

A baby came from a kiss.

When you gave paper to a vending machine, it gave you money back. Same with the gas pay machines.

I told my parents I talked to Santa on Christmas Eve when everyone else was asleep. I cried when they didn't believe me.

The dark was an unknown place. Not dangerous, just mysterious.

My family would go to the mall together. My sister and I would go on those little playgrounds in the center, and my mom and dad would watch. Then we'd all hold hands and swing our arms and walk together. It was picture-perfect.

Las Vegas was a basic necessity every Christmas. I would die without it. I think I would still die without it.

Rock music made my head hurt. I mean, who would enjoy stuff with only drums and electric guitar and screaming? It's not even music.

I was a neat freak. More than my mom. Everything had to be PERFECT. My stickers could not be out of order. They could not be sticking out of their borders. They could not be cut off in any way. It drove my parents crazy.

Japan was a great place. Too bad I don't remember it. I only dimly remember a kitchen where I had to drink vinegar cause I got a fish bone stuck in my throat.

I liked to pretend I could understand Japanese.

My family was an actual family.

But that all happened when I was young. Course things are different now. Way different.

Still. I like to look back. At my innocent outlook on life. I wonder if I can still get that back. But nah. If I did, I wouldn't be able to perceive the next thing that's going to erupt in that fragile thing we call our family. I think it's safe to say that I've come a long way.

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3 lovenotes.
Paranoia.

I'm still afraid of the dark. I have been, I still am, and I probably will be for the rest of my life.

And I don't know why. Up until first grade, I was fine with the dark. With getting up in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom alone. With sleeping in a pitch-black room with no night-light. Then I don't know what happened. All I know is every year, that night light gets bigger, and every year, my imagination gets more and more creative.

That's why during Japanese everyone was like HAHA YOU'RE SUCH A BABY during the horror film. I really cannot stand horror films. Everything in there is like fuel for the nightmares that night. That's why I always try staying awake when I feel that paranoia. Cause once I fall asleep...it gets so much worse.

Anything supernatural will scare me. And it doesn't matter what it is. Especially that one word that begins with a G and ends with a T. Please never ever EVER say that word in front of me. I will cry when I hear that. And for once, I'm not overexaggerating here. I remember half a year ago we had this blackout at nine at night. ALL the lights just all of a sudden shut off, and I was all alone with my room. I know I should've ran, but I couldn't. I was just frozen there; paralyzed. I could hear my mom and sister laughing downstairs, but it was like through a fog or something. And then, like the little baby I am, I started crying. -__-

Even in the daylight, my imagination can run wild. And I hate it when that happens, cause once it gets started, there's no stopping it. One thing leads to another, and that to another, and before I even know what's happening, I actually HEAR my heart rate going up, and I start sweating, and I...just don't know what happens to myself. I think I go crazy. Literally crazy. And I completely lose myself.

Sorry if this sounds insane, but it's hard to get it out and making sense at the same time. I just hate the fact that this fear rules my life, and makes it so hard for me to cope with everyday things that should be easy to deal with. And I wish I had someone to go through this with me, but that really can't happen. This is something I have to deal with on my own. But I don't have the courage to deal with it. And I probably never will.

2 lovenotes.