I think my promise to myself is working. (: I still really, really love school. And I know most people think I'm crazy, since I complain about staying up late and MUN and all these tests and MUN and my grades dropping and MUfreakingN, but still. I love school. (: Ahha I sound like a nerd, don't I. Who caaares.
But if there was one thing that makes my school life so much worse, it's MUN. I know I've hated on it before, but it's just. I don't know. I just hate it. I don't think I'm cut out for it. I'm not the type of person to hardball and debate and think of stuff right on the spot. That's for people like the Emilys and Sayoni and Labdhi. I just kinda go along with the flow, doing the bare minimum to get past, and JUST managing to keep alive in that class. And it takes away all my free time, with those position papers and speech preparing and Frankie Wong showing up in the middle of class to teach us how to Google. (Btw, that hasn't helped me at all. -__-) And it's just UGH.
And today's assembly was the best. (: I really love Tyler. I want to be his best friend. (: And then we can hang out together and he'll be able to tell me how to handle my life. He'd give me more advice than just "You'll get over it." And he'll be able to motivate me to do what I want to do. I wish Tyler and I knew each other. ):
I consider my watching three episodes of Gossip Girl a success. (: I'm FINALLY caught up to the latest one, so when people talk about what Serena did or where Blair went or how Chuck was Chuck again, I won't have to run or cover my ears. (:
I also consider the fact that I finished writing my grams on time a success. (: (Except for Ralph. Ahha I'm sure you're okay with yours. (I'm sure Alex is too. (If you know what I mean.))) And thankyouthankyouthankyou to: -Michele! Ohh sneaky sneaky ninjas. Totally wasn't expecting that one. ;) And I would've drawn that picture in like an HOUR. So. Five minutes is talent. -Izzy! LOL my mom was reading my grams and she's like YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER? Ahha and of course the gram is special. It's from you. <3 And our next dance is formal! :D -Uh. Frankie Wong. How'd he get my homeroom. -Josh! Yeah. -Chris! Nice job on the last minute 'OH-look-there's-a-gram-on-you-desk-I'm-saved-now!' A few corrections though: ONE Indian son. So not 'sons'. Dear is spelled as 'deer'. -__- Wonderful is also spelled wrong. I am not your ex-daughter. I am your DAUGHTER. (:
And I actually had fun at Feary Tales. I would complain about the DJ, but I don't think we were ever pleased with a DJ. So. (: Maze was kinda fun, but only after we left. When we were in there, it was like AHH SOMEONE'S GONNA POPUP THERE-AHH THERE'S ANOTHER ROOM-AHH DON'T LEAVE ME GUYS-AHH AHH AHH. And the three hours felt so shooort. ): So I guess I'm gonna look forward to FOOORMAL! (Minus the drama. And the asking problems.) I already got my dress. (:
I realize I can only post on the weekends, when I actually have time to. So expect like two posts a week. If you're lucky, three posts. If you're really really lucky, no posts. Just kidding. (:
What I think I should try for. But probably won't succeed in: -Get a 4.0 GPA. (: (Stop laughing, guys.) Maybe my parents will actually think I'm capable of something. -Get involved in as less drama as I can. Drama's just another useless complication in life. Staying out of it is smarter. But if I get dragged in, that's another story... -Stop letting other people down. -Scratch that. Stop letting myself down. -Get over my fear of the dark. Who am I kidding. I've had that since five years old. I doubt I'm getting rid of it. It's just getting worse, my lightnights keep getting bigger, my creativeness spreads. -Stop being so self-conscious. I have to get over the fact that my image really isn't that important. -Stop thinking way too much, way too hard. Some parts of my head I'd rather stay away from. -Learn how to tune lectures out. Without falling asleep or making it obvious. -Try to learn to turn an awkward conversation to a...non-awkward conversation.
Haha I realized I have so many flaaaws. Have fun laughing at them. (:
Oh and. I kinda figured out that depressed books make me depressed. But when I'm done with the book, it's kind of like a cleansing feeling. I feel kind of. Cured. Of all emotional distress or trauma for about half a day. And it feels really good. So if you guys don't know what to get me for Christmas, you can just get me a really good book. (: Chances are that I've read it already, but oh well.
And speaking of Christmas. Don't you guys feel the Christmas? Even though it's early in the year, I actually do. And that's why I wear whenever it's cold enough to; it helps me feel the holiday season better. (: Ahha I probably sound so stupid, but I bet a few of you guys get it. (: The sooner Christmas comes, the sooner family bonding comes. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Hopefully, no one gets fatally injured this year. Hopefully.
I just wanted you all to know that I love you. Thank you so much for being there for me when I was down. If everyone in the world had friends like you guys, the world would be a much, much better place. Thanks. <3
Most of you guys know how important those supporting comments are. Sometimes, I actually live on them, open them when I feel like I need help or love. So thank you so, so much for those comments. (:
So layout change. (: Like it? And I actually managed to figure out how to add the comments bar! And then sent it to Michele. Seems like she's enjoying it too. :D Oh and the songs, too! Taylor Swift and Nickelback. They're freaking good, so you should listen to both AND download both. (:
So apparently there were fires today? D: And so that caused so much freaking ash floating around today. -__- And we STILL had to run the mile, even when tennis went inside and Rita gave us the warning. "If cross-country can run, then so can you!" EFF that. Cross-country's made especially for running; we're not! >:O So we ended up wheezing those three greens, and everyooone was coughing by the time we were finished. And I really felt like killing my teachers. Except I was too tired to. And in way too much pain. And too nauseous. So I guess I'll put it off 'till later. :D
I think it's funny how it's only the second month of school and there's drama already? I'm keeping out of it. So. I get the outside view. I don't know. I just see it as a really bad soap opera. Pretty good actors, though.
I realize that I really don't take things for granted. I know that everyone's like 'I hate this teacher', 'I want school to be over', 'I can't wait till summer', or whatever. But really, if you do happen to look back on the ninth grade year, you forget all about the stress and the drama and those teachers that you hate so much. You see all the fun you had, how you could do things so freely without a nagging worry about college or SAT or whatever in the back of your head. And you'll probably want that again. So that's why at the end of everyday I can go to bed and still say that I love school. And I know that it sounds so silly, but I know some of you will get it. (: And even though I do this the best I can - appreciating everything - there's some still things that slip. Like all that Social stressing. Remember, guys? (: Me going all over the place 'Where's the DJ!', 'Why don't you have your routine down!', 'Who's the head of this committee', 'What happened to our pictures!' And now when I think about it, I miss it SO much. That feeling of being in charge, knowing that in the end, all the hard work would pay off. And I don't get to do that now. I watch other people do it; the process of worry to stress to total panic to appreciation and relaxation. And I so want to go through it again, as crazy as it sounds. You guys get me?
And elementary school, that period of innocence and carefree fun, where you could do anything without suspicion. Back then, all I wanted to do was grow up and go to high school. Now, all I want to do is go back. Because, don't you guys miss those times? I know I do. =/ So when my high school year started, I promised myself that I wouldn't do that anymore. And I'm trying my best to achieve that goal. (: So far, I'm succeeding. And if I ever fall off that preset path, you guys be sure to set me back, alright? Remind me of all the things to appreciate, and how important they seem to whatever inconsequential matter I'm worrying over.
Life's been hell. And a lot of you aren't helping. Actually, some of you guys are actually the ones MAKING it hell. So thanks. Thanks a lot. And I know I sound like some psychotic, immature brat bawling my eyes out, and you can think that for all I care, but some things just do this to me. And if the people doing these things are the people I love, then..?
Friday was supposed to be a day that I loved. I mean, everyone loves Friday. It's chill day. You do whatever you want; stay up late, go out with your friends, whatever. But it's just one little thing that completely ruins the peace. And to you guys, it'll seem so little and so inconsequential, but to me, it really did hurt. And I know you don't know that I'm actually talking to you. You'll probably be reading this, and thinking it's someone else. I don't care. You can go off on other one of your mood swings and think up of some random excuse that doesn't make sense. I don't care. I used to, but I don't. And when was the last time you saw me cry? Never. I don't think you've ever seen me shed a tear, for anything, in front of you. How does it feel that you've managed to change that? Congratulations. What an honor.
And what hurts even more is you didn't even realize what kind of remarks got to me the most. I thought you'd know me that well to figure it out. Guess you didn't. Used those exact words to get back at me. Is this thanks for whatever I've done for you before? Because if it is, I must've been a freaking btch to you. You and those two other <3's you brought with you. All of you, ganging up on me like I'm some sort of school bully; some sort of prey; some sort of person you'd hate with all your living.
But don't get me wrong. I still love you. I still love all of you. Just don't do that ever again. <3
And I realize that I expect too much of myself at times. I place myself in a mind of success and reward, and when I don't achieve what I wish for, I fall a long way. I unconsciously persuade myself that losing is not an option, even when I'm reminded constantly by my family and by my friends that it is not so. And I always think that I'm aware of the fact that there's always a chance that I might fail, and I tell myself, but in the end, I realize that I never thought that. It was just a cover for that need for success. And I wish I could get rid of that. Just throw it away, and never face it again. Because what I'm really afraid of most is not letting other people down, but letting myself down.
I think most of you understood what I'm talking about. And thanks guys for the support today. <3
OKAY I PROBABLY HAD THE BEST DAY EVER TODAY. And it was all because of you wonderful people. (: You guys are the best. <3
So I have a few special thanks;
ISABELCHUA: You cutieee. <3>
EMILYYANG: I hate you for being so fluent in Chinese. >:O I cannot write like that at ALL. But I really really appreciate the fact that you took time out to write a card for me. (: And I looove it. Makes me miss the the long-agos so much. But makes me look forward to four more years with YOU, dearie. <3
SHIVANTIKARIYAWASAM: (Did I spell that right? :D) So on the card I'm guessing you're a donkey? And I'm a cute little bear? (: OH a bear with pretty brown hair. Ahha I always wonder how people like you guys can make small simple things look so beautiful and artistic. And your handwriting is pretty too. (: But most important of all, your LETTER is just so darn. I don't know. Special to me. You betcha I'm gonna keep it forever and ever. (:
CATHERINEQIAN: I like the necklace. And the notebook. Let's pass notes. :D (Yeah I love you. Fine. I guess I must say it. HAHA just kidding. <3)
ANGELCHOI: WOW eight pieces of paper. Eight pieces of love. <3>
ANDREWFANG: I'm not using that penny until I'm an old, old lady. And I'll look back and say "Oh! Twenty-oh-eight? Why, that's when I was in high school! That's when that Andrew gave me that birthday card. Ohohohooo the good ol' high school days." Okay no just kidding. Way too tacky. -__- But I love the card. (Haha transitional jumping picture. All Ian's fault, I say. -__-)
ALICECHO: Those were the most beautiful fourteen balloons I've ever seen in my life. (Killed everyone in the hallways, too, but we don't care about that!) And you spent so much money too. ): Makes me feel so guilty. But don't worry! I'll get you even MORE on your birthday. (:
And to everyone who shouted happy birthday to me in the hallways and during lunch and afterschool, thankyou so much. You might not think it's a lot, but to me, it means so much. Thanks for making this the greatest birthday ever, guys. <3
I'll be old in a few hours. (: I really don't like flaunting my birthday or whatever, but I'd just like to share that I'm pretty happy. Since I doubt my family's pumped up at all for my aging, I might as well carry all of that excitement. So what advantages come with being fourteen? I guess you show a better image as an adult, maybe? Show your parents you don't need them everywhere, but you do need them sometimes. I don't know. A lot of you out there have been fourteen for quite a while. What do I know? I'm just an October baby. (:
But you know what. I still feel kind of down. And even I don't know why. I think it's cause I'm expecting too much, and not getting enough. Doing nothing while I should be doing someting; doing anything. Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense. Do any of my posts really make sense? You know, sometimes I think there's something seriously wrong with me. -__- I mean, would anybody sane get depressed at random times and then turn over-happy and then be depressed all over again? I'm probably some freak of nature..?
And for Izzy's post: I know you better than you think. (: You're not shallow; you're not stupid. And you would be the last person somebody would accuse of being unaware of the real world. You probably have more taste of the real world than anybody else here. And we like you the way you are; bubbly and bouncy, always ready to cheer up someone else, even if you're feeling down. It's called selflessness, and that's what you have. (: So don't worry. We love you. <3
For Michele's: You know, I really love your blog. Your little cryptic remarks always make me think. A lot. (Hurts my head too, sometimes. -__-) Don't worry, your fairy tale's probably coming soon, if not already. You deserve one. (: And for your most recent one; the first one isn't love, it's infatuation. The second one is love. So you have my answer.
^I love you guys. (: Ahha, see. There's my bipolar streak again. Depressed -> Loving.
I remember in fifth grade when my teacher asked me which one of my five senses I could probably live without. I answered my ears. It sounded right at that time. I didn't want to be blind; I didn't want to be unable to taste; I didn't want to be unable to smell; I didn't want to be unable to sense. Now that I think back, I was pretty stupid. Live without music? I really don't know where I'd be without music. It's the only thing that makes sense for me at times. Accepts my depression, stays there with me, then brings me back up slowly. I don't think anybody human would be able to do that for me. Music is like this cleansing system that goes through all my feelings and sort them out, throwing away the ones that don't belong, enhancing the ones that should stay. Without music, I'd probably die.
I'd die without you too. So why do you leave when I need you the most? Stay. Please stay.
There's no Romeo. No Juliet either, for that matter.
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I’ll be waiting all there's left to do is run, You be the prince and I’ll be the princess, It's a love story baby just say yes.
Taylor Swift's version of a Love Story. Too bad it's not real.
Swim today was literally hell in water. I'm not even kidding. The sub made us do all these weird drills and kicking 283759 laps and pulling even more laps. -__- But I did get to know a few people better. (: And hopefully, I can be able to swim a little faster. Hopefully. (Probably not, though. I don't put much effort in. -___-)
I like the weather, though. (: It's starting to cool down a little. This unfortunately means we have to run miles again, but still. I like it. And it was drizzling at around eight, so hopefully that means those ninety-degree days are overrr. Hopefully.
High school isn't fun anymore. D: It's stressssful. I haven't had a single day where there wasn't a test or a quiz. And I have to worry about my MUN position paper every single freaking day. But my schedule's well-balanced, though. Second period I have Breik, where I can technically just sleep in. I'll just read the textbook or whatever. Then homeroom there's Brannen. Most of the time we just write, so it's not that bad. But she does give a lot of homework, especially over the weekend. Which is. Not very smart. Then Perry; pretty fun class. Pretty stressful class, too. So much information to digest every day. D: Then Oyama. She catches me if I sleep, so I can't do that. We play a lot of games, though. And we win candy. (: So that makes me happy. After lunch there's freaking Rosenberg to deal with. Turns out I have a B- in that class, so I can't slack AT ALL if I don't want an unsat. Ahha and yeah, trust me, I do NOT want one. -__- And then PE! The mile gets pretty harsh sometimes, but it's pretty relaxing after the mile's over. (:
So Cerritos conference next Saturday. And position paper due Wednesday. So I'll probably be pulling another all-nighter on Tuesday. Anybody have a spare pillow?
I think my promise to myself is working. (: I still really, really love school. And I know most people think I'm crazy, since I complain about staying up late and MUN and all these tests and MUN and my grades dropping and MUfreakingN, but still. I love school. (: Ahha I sound like a nerd, don't I. Who caaares.
But if there was one thing that makes my school life so much worse, it's MUN. I know I've hated on it before, but it's just. I don't know. I just hate it. I don't think I'm cut out for it. I'm not the type of person to hardball and debate and think of stuff right on the spot. That's for people like the Emilys and Sayoni and Labdhi. I just kinda go along with the flow, doing the bare minimum to get past, and JUST managing to keep alive in that class. And it takes away all my free time, with those position papers and speech preparing and Frankie Wong showing up in the middle of class to teach us how to Google. (Btw, that hasn't helped me at all. -__-) And it's just UGH.
And today's assembly was the best. (: I really love Tyler. I want to be his best friend. (: And then we can hang out together and he'll be able to tell me how to handle my life. He'd give me more advice than just "You'll get over it." And he'll be able to motivate me to do what I want to do. I wish Tyler and I knew each other. ):
I consider my watching three episodes of Gossip Girl a success. (: I'm FINALLY caught up to the latest one, so when people talk about what Serena did or where Blair went or how Chuck was Chuck again, I won't have to run or cover my ears. (:
I also consider the fact that I finished writing my grams on time a success. (: (Except for Ralph. Ahha I'm sure you're okay with yours. (I'm sure Alex is too. (If you know what I mean.))) And thankyouthankyouthankyou to: -Michele! Ohh sneaky sneaky ninjas. Totally wasn't expecting that one. ;) And I would've drawn that picture in like an HOUR. So. Five minutes is talent. -Izzy! LOL my mom was reading my grams and she's like YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER? Ahha and of course the gram is special. It's from you. <3 And our next dance is formal! :D -Uh. Frankie Wong. How'd he get my homeroom. -Josh! Yeah. -Chris! Nice job on the last minute 'OH-look-there's-a-gram-on-you-desk-I'm-saved-now!' A few corrections though: ONE Indian son. So not 'sons'. Dear is spelled as 'deer'. -__- Wonderful is also spelled wrong. I am not your ex-daughter. I am your DAUGHTER. (:
And I actually had fun at Feary Tales. I would complain about the DJ, but I don't think we were ever pleased with a DJ. So. (: Maze was kinda fun, but only after we left. When we were in there, it was like AHH SOMEONE'S GONNA POPUP THERE-AHH THERE'S ANOTHER ROOM-AHH DON'T LEAVE ME GUYS-AHH AHH AHH. And the three hours felt so shooort. ): So I guess I'm gonna look forward to FOOORMAL! (Minus the drama. And the asking problems.) I already got my dress. (:
I realize I can only post on the weekends, when I actually have time to. So expect like two posts a week. If you're lucky, three posts. If you're really really lucky, no posts. Just kidding. (:
What I think I should try for. But probably won't succeed in: -Get a 4.0 GPA. (: (Stop laughing, guys.) Maybe my parents will actually think I'm capable of something. -Get involved in as less drama as I can. Drama's just another useless complication in life. Staying out of it is smarter. But if I get dragged in, that's another story... -Stop letting other people down. -Scratch that. Stop letting myself down. -Get over my fear of the dark. Who am I kidding. I've had that since five years old. I doubt I'm getting rid of it. It's just getting worse, my lightnights keep getting bigger, my creativeness spreads. -Stop being so self-conscious. I have to get over the fact that my image really isn't that important. -Stop thinking way too much, way too hard. Some parts of my head I'd rather stay away from. -Learn how to tune lectures out. Without falling asleep or making it obvious. -Try to learn to turn an awkward conversation to a...non-awkward conversation.
Haha I realized I have so many flaaaws. Have fun laughing at them. (:
Oh and. I kinda figured out that depressed books make me depressed. But when I'm done with the book, it's kind of like a cleansing feeling. I feel kind of. Cured. Of all emotional distress or trauma for about half a day. And it feels really good. So if you guys don't know what to get me for Christmas, you can just get me a really good book. (: Chances are that I've read it already, but oh well.
And speaking of Christmas. Don't you guys feel the Christmas? Even though it's early in the year, I actually do. And that's why I wear whenever it's cold enough to; it helps me feel the holiday season better. (: Ahha I probably sound so stupid, but I bet a few of you guys get it. (: The sooner Christmas comes, the sooner family bonding comes. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Hopefully, no one gets fatally injured this year. Hopefully.
I just wanted you all to know that I love you. Thank you so much for being there for me when I was down. If everyone in the world had friends like you guys, the world would be a much, much better place. Thanks. <3
Most of you guys know how important those supporting comments are. Sometimes, I actually live on them, open them when I feel like I need help or love. So thank you so, so much for those comments. (:
So layout change. (: Like it? And I actually managed to figure out how to add the comments bar! And then sent it to Michele. Seems like she's enjoying it too. :D Oh and the songs, too! Taylor Swift and Nickelback. They're freaking good, so you should listen to both AND download both. (:
So apparently there were fires today? D: And so that caused so much freaking ash floating around today. -__- And we STILL had to run the mile, even when tennis went inside and Rita gave us the warning. "If cross-country can run, then so can you!" EFF that. Cross-country's made especially for running; we're not! >:O So we ended up wheezing those three greens, and everyooone was coughing by the time we were finished. And I really felt like killing my teachers. Except I was too tired to. And in way too much pain. And too nauseous. So I guess I'll put it off 'till later. :D
I think it's funny how it's only the second month of school and there's drama already? I'm keeping out of it. So. I get the outside view. I don't know. I just see it as a really bad soap opera. Pretty good actors, though.
I realize that I really don't take things for granted. I know that everyone's like 'I hate this teacher', 'I want school to be over', 'I can't wait till summer', or whatever. But really, if you do happen to look back on the ninth grade year, you forget all about the stress and the drama and those teachers that you hate so much. You see all the fun you had, how you could do things so freely without a nagging worry about college or SAT or whatever in the back of your head. And you'll probably want that again. So that's why at the end of everyday I can go to bed and still say that I love school. And I know that it sounds so silly, but I know some of you will get it. (: And even though I do this the best I can - appreciating everything - there's some still things that slip. Like all that Social stressing. Remember, guys? (: Me going all over the place 'Where's the DJ!', 'Why don't you have your routine down!', 'Who's the head of this committee', 'What happened to our pictures!' And now when I think about it, I miss it SO much. That feeling of being in charge, knowing that in the end, all the hard work would pay off. And I don't get to do that now. I watch other people do it; the process of worry to stress to total panic to appreciation and relaxation. And I so want to go through it again, as crazy as it sounds. You guys get me?
And elementary school, that period of innocence and carefree fun, where you could do anything without suspicion. Back then, all I wanted to do was grow up and go to high school. Now, all I want to do is go back. Because, don't you guys miss those times? I know I do. =/ So when my high school year started, I promised myself that I wouldn't do that anymore. And I'm trying my best to achieve that goal. (: So far, I'm succeeding. And if I ever fall off that preset path, you guys be sure to set me back, alright? Remind me of all the things to appreciate, and how important they seem to whatever inconsequential matter I'm worrying over.
Life's been hell. And a lot of you aren't helping. Actually, some of you guys are actually the ones MAKING it hell. So thanks. Thanks a lot. And I know I sound like some psychotic, immature brat bawling my eyes out, and you can think that for all I care, but some things just do this to me. And if the people doing these things are the people I love, then..?
Friday was supposed to be a day that I loved. I mean, everyone loves Friday. It's chill day. You do whatever you want; stay up late, go out with your friends, whatever. But it's just one little thing that completely ruins the peace. And to you guys, it'll seem so little and so inconsequential, but to me, it really did hurt. And I know you don't know that I'm actually talking to you. You'll probably be reading this, and thinking it's someone else. I don't care. You can go off on other one of your mood swings and think up of some random excuse that doesn't make sense. I don't care. I used to, but I don't. And when was the last time you saw me cry? Never. I don't think you've ever seen me shed a tear, for anything, in front of you. How does it feel that you've managed to change that? Congratulations. What an honor.
And what hurts even more is you didn't even realize what kind of remarks got to me the most. I thought you'd know me that well to figure it out. Guess you didn't. Used those exact words to get back at me. Is this thanks for whatever I've done for you before? Because if it is, I must've been a freaking btch to you. You and those two other <3's you brought with you. All of you, ganging up on me like I'm some sort of school bully; some sort of prey; some sort of person you'd hate with all your living.
But don't get me wrong. I still love you. I still love all of you. Just don't do that ever again. <3
And I realize that I expect too much of myself at times. I place myself in a mind of success and reward, and when I don't achieve what I wish for, I fall a long way. I unconsciously persuade myself that losing is not an option, even when I'm reminded constantly by my family and by my friends that it is not so. And I always think that I'm aware of the fact that there's always a chance that I might fail, and I tell myself, but in the end, I realize that I never thought that. It was just a cover for that need for success. And I wish I could get rid of that. Just throw it away, and never face it again. Because what I'm really afraid of most is not letting other people down, but letting myself down.
I think most of you understood what I'm talking about. And thanks guys for the support today. <3
OKAY I PROBABLY HAD THE BEST DAY EVER TODAY. And it was all because of you wonderful people. (: You guys are the best. <3
So I have a few special thanks;
ISABELCHUA: You cutieee. <3>
EMILYYANG: I hate you for being so fluent in Chinese. >:O I cannot write like that at ALL. But I really really appreciate the fact that you took time out to write a card for me. (: And I looove it. Makes me miss the the long-agos so much. But makes me look forward to four more years with YOU, dearie. <3
SHIVANTIKARIYAWASAM: (Did I spell that right? :D) So on the card I'm guessing you're a donkey? And I'm a cute little bear? (: OH a bear with pretty brown hair. Ahha I always wonder how people like you guys can make small simple things look so beautiful and artistic. And your handwriting is pretty too. (: But most important of all, your LETTER is just so darn. I don't know. Special to me. You betcha I'm gonna keep it forever and ever. (:
CATHERINEQIAN: I like the necklace. And the notebook. Let's pass notes. :D (Yeah I love you. Fine. I guess I must say it. HAHA just kidding. <3)
ANGELCHOI: WOW eight pieces of paper. Eight pieces of love. <3>
ANDREWFANG: I'm not using that penny until I'm an old, old lady. And I'll look back and say "Oh! Twenty-oh-eight? Why, that's when I was in high school! That's when that Andrew gave me that birthday card. Ohohohooo the good ol' high school days." Okay no just kidding. Way too tacky. -__- But I love the card. (Haha transitional jumping picture. All Ian's fault, I say. -__-)
ALICECHO: Those were the most beautiful fourteen balloons I've ever seen in my life. (Killed everyone in the hallways, too, but we don't care about that!) And you spent so much money too. ): Makes me feel so guilty. But don't worry! I'll get you even MORE on your birthday. (:
And to everyone who shouted happy birthday to me in the hallways and during lunch and afterschool, thankyou so much. You might not think it's a lot, but to me, it means so much. Thanks for making this the greatest birthday ever, guys. <3
I'll be old in a few hours. (: I really don't like flaunting my birthday or whatever, but I'd just like to share that I'm pretty happy. Since I doubt my family's pumped up at all for my aging, I might as well carry all of that excitement. So what advantages come with being fourteen? I guess you show a better image as an adult, maybe? Show your parents you don't need them everywhere, but you do need them sometimes. I don't know. A lot of you out there have been fourteen for quite a while. What do I know? I'm just an October baby. (:
But you know what. I still feel kind of down. And even I don't know why. I think it's cause I'm expecting too much, and not getting enough. Doing nothing while I should be doing someting; doing anything. Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense. Do any of my posts really make sense? You know, sometimes I think there's something seriously wrong with me. -__- I mean, would anybody sane get depressed at random times and then turn over-happy and then be depressed all over again? I'm probably some freak of nature..?
And for Izzy's post: I know you better than you think. (: You're not shallow; you're not stupid. And you would be the last person somebody would accuse of being unaware of the real world. You probably have more taste of the real world than anybody else here. And we like you the way you are; bubbly and bouncy, always ready to cheer up someone else, even if you're feeling down. It's called selflessness, and that's what you have. (: So don't worry. We love you. <3
For Michele's: You know, I really love your blog. Your little cryptic remarks always make me think. A lot. (Hurts my head too, sometimes. -__-) Don't worry, your fairy tale's probably coming soon, if not already. You deserve one. (: And for your most recent one; the first one isn't love, it's infatuation. The second one is love. So you have my answer.
^I love you guys. (: Ahha, see. There's my bipolar streak again. Depressed -> Loving.
I remember in fifth grade when my teacher asked me which one of my five senses I could probably live without. I answered my ears. It sounded right at that time. I didn't want to be blind; I didn't want to be unable to taste; I didn't want to be unable to smell; I didn't want to be unable to sense. Now that I think back, I was pretty stupid. Live without music? I really don't know where I'd be without music. It's the only thing that makes sense for me at times. Accepts my depression, stays there with me, then brings me back up slowly. I don't think anybody human would be able to do that for me. Music is like this cleansing system that goes through all my feelings and sort them out, throwing away the ones that don't belong, enhancing the ones that should stay. Without music, I'd probably die.
I'd die without you too. So why do you leave when I need you the most? Stay. Please stay.
There's no Romeo. No Juliet either, for that matter.
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I’ll be waiting all there's left to do is run, You be the prince and I’ll be the princess, It's a love story baby just say yes.
Taylor Swift's version of a Love Story. Too bad it's not real.
Swim today was literally hell in water. I'm not even kidding. The sub made us do all these weird drills and kicking 283759 laps and pulling even more laps. -__- But I did get to know a few people better. (: And hopefully, I can be able to swim a little faster. Hopefully. (Probably not, though. I don't put much effort in. -___-)
I like the weather, though. (: It's starting to cool down a little. This unfortunately means we have to run miles again, but still. I like it. And it was drizzling at around eight, so hopefully that means those ninety-degree days are overrr. Hopefully.
High school isn't fun anymore. D: It's stressssful. I haven't had a single day where there wasn't a test or a quiz. And I have to worry about my MUN position paper every single freaking day. But my schedule's well-balanced, though. Second period I have Breik, where I can technically just sleep in. I'll just read the textbook or whatever. Then homeroom there's Brannen. Most of the time we just write, so it's not that bad. But she does give a lot of homework, especially over the weekend. Which is. Not very smart. Then Perry; pretty fun class. Pretty stressful class, too. So much information to digest every day. D: Then Oyama. She catches me if I sleep, so I can't do that. We play a lot of games, though. And we win candy. (: So that makes me happy. After lunch there's freaking Rosenberg to deal with. Turns out I have a B- in that class, so I can't slack AT ALL if I don't want an unsat. Ahha and yeah, trust me, I do NOT want one. -__- And then PE! The mile gets pretty harsh sometimes, but it's pretty relaxing after the mile's over. (:
So Cerritos conference next Saturday. And position paper due Wednesday. So I'll probably be pulling another all-nighter on Tuesday. Anybody have a spare pillow?
Impress me. Sing along to Bon Jovi and Muse with me. Watch Lion King until your eyes hurt. Laugh at all my jokes. Buy me striped clothing on my birthday! Learn to love my Mickey. (: Memorize my phone number, and memorize it RIGHT. Buy me CD albums for my birthday/Christmas/anything! Never tell me you want to watch me swim. Get me Vitamin Water when I'm stressed. (: Tell me your life story. I'll tell you mine.
