which color?





dailies
isabel
josh
ralph
angel
catherine
marissa
tiffany-liu
michele
tiffany-yeh
michelle
shivanti
andy
emily
sayoni
joe
renz
jeremy
daniel-lee
andrew-hou
priya
shelley
ronnie
daniel-shim
andrew-fang
claudine
julian
jocelyn
kathy
paley
hannah
charles
katheryn
avi
priyanka
tim
jeanyoung
ben
sarah/mary
john
emma
archie
abi
kaajal
eric


Too
damn
unstable.

0 lovenotes.

Why does life constantly need to fuck me over and over in the head when things start going right?

WHATEVA not like I'm not used to this. =) Here we go again...back into the cycle I finally thought I escaped from.

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too damn emotional

I'm done with crying over people that don't matter.

=)

hai guiz

I'm so excited to be spending more quality time with my Penn sweater! It's so comfy and so warm and so beautiful alsdkfj;alsjdf

I miss people...school makes me too tired and too stressed. Can we all crash someone's house this weekend and watch Jersey Shore or something and just dgaf about life for about 6 hours please please pleaseeee I need a break from everything.


sigh

0 lovenotes.

Let me tell you how stress might actually kill me.

Hello Dance is in less than a month and nothing has been set in stone - I still need to get the letterhead for the DJ and I still need to call the jumper people. There's so many deadlines to be met and there's barely any time for me to do any of this when school starts. I'm so scared. My first event this year, and I already feel myself falling apart.

FORMAL. So many places and so many ideas, but so little time. Ideally, I should have already decided on a venue and contracted the date and be ready to announce to Improta the details of Formal; but I have absolutely nothing. I just emailed an event planner and asked her to guide me through the process - I have no idea why I didn't do this earlier. I'm just so scared I set everything in process a little too late, and I'll have to set Formal at either a non-appealing location or on a non-appealing date, and if I had to do that I'd be so ashamed of myself. Goddamn skdlfja;lksdjf

The college process - everyone's already almost done with their personal statements and their supplements and I've barely started. If college was a game (which it is) I'm already pretty far behind, and catching up is going to take way too much effort. There's still so many things to sort out - I still need a COLLEGE LIST. Aka I honestly don't even know where I'm applying yet. This year is going to kill me.

CHAPTER. Because I have a co chair now (an annoying airheaded co chair), there has to be double the amount of success I had last year - which means double the number of EHL students, and double the amount of money raised for Measles and Malaria. We had so many plans for the M&M Initiative, but putting them into action is going to be a whole other story. There's so much coordinating and organizing and committment involved, and I'm not entirely sure how much of myself I can put into it.

I'm just...so afraid. There's so many things just riding on my successes, and I'm so scared I'll let other people down. I can't handle disappointment, but I'm afraid this year's going to be filled with it.

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I hope I make you as happy as you make me.

I know we'll run into all kinds of shit along the way because that's exactly how we are, but we'll work it through. We always have, and we've done so for the past four years. Are you excited? I'm a little bit excited. A little scared, a little nervous, a little bit of everything. And I know this year is going to be filled with so much stress and some days all we'll see of each other is just a 'hi' in the hallways, but it's something I'm willing to take. You have your priorities and I have mine, and time is going to be somewhat of a challenge to acquire, but it's the little things that count, right? The little notes and the journal entries and the good morning texts and the good night texts and the kisses on the head and the 'hi' conversations. In the mess of everything that I'm committed to, from ASB to swim to chapter to work, it'll be nice to have someone to fall back on. Someone to talk to no matter what, someone to trust, someone to laugh with, someone I can just be with without any complications or awkwardness or uneasiness. I just hope that in the whirlwind of what's to come, I won't become a burden. I know for a fact my insecurities get in my way and they've shut me down so many times before, but I promise you it's something that's still a progress in work - everything about me is still incomplete and still in the process of figuring out what's right and what's wrong and what I really want. I'm rash and I'm spontaneous and I do things without thinking; I'm loud and I'm shy and sometimes I just don't know what I am, but I plan to make this year the year when I figure everything out.

This year is going to be amazing regardless of what comes along and gets in the way - between studies and rushing to practices and driving to meetings, I promise you we'll be able to sit down and take a breather and just...relax. And let everything wash over us for a few minutes or hours and not worry about our next test or performance or event; because as long as I have you and you have me, we'll be okay.

♥, Alice

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