I feel like I need a certain amount of time to sit down and listen to Bon Iver or Bryson Andres and tell myself to stop being such a self-centered whiny bitch. Then I can lift my head again, open my eyes, and see everything without being clouded by my own bitterness. I can't seem to get over the fact that some things are out of my control and I have this habit of letting my mind run over the same things over and over and over and over again.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm self-conscious or superficial or some nasty combination of both. But it's kind of like a double-edged sword, isn't it? If I do things to please others, I'm being self-conscious; if I do things to please myself, I'm superficial. So..what? I feel like those two words practically define who I am and all my actions stem from that. And I feel like they anchor me down from seeing what I actually want and forcing me to settle for what I think is the maximum extent for me...I don't know.
Okay good night maybe I just desperately need some alone time with my bed and when I wake up it'll all be sunshine and butterflies and chirpy birds.
I feel like I need a certain amount of time to sit down and listen to Bon Iver or Bryson Andres and tell myself to stop being such a self-centered whiny bitch. Then I can lift my head again, open my eyes, and see everything without being clouded by my own bitterness. I can't seem to get over the fact that some things are out of my control and I have this habit of letting my mind run over the same things over and over and over and over again.
Sometimes I don't know if I'm self-conscious or superficial or some nasty combination of both. But it's kind of like a double-edged sword, isn't it? If I do things to please others, I'm being self-conscious; if I do things to please myself, I'm superficial. So..what? I feel like those two words practically define who I am and all my actions stem from that. And I feel like they anchor me down from seeing what I actually want and forcing me to settle for what I think is the maximum extent for me...I don't know.
Okay good night maybe I just desperately need some alone time with my bed and when I wake up it'll all be sunshine and butterflies and chirpy birds.
Impress me. Sing along to Bon Jovi and Muse with me. Watch Lion King until your eyes hurt. Laugh at all my jokes. Buy me striped clothing on my birthday! Learn to love my Mickey. (: Memorize my phone number, and memorize it RIGHT. Buy me CD albums for my birthday/Christmas/anything! Never tell me you want to watch me swim. Get me Vitamin Water when I'm stressed. (: Tell me your life story. I'll tell you mine.
